The Balloon Has Popped: A Psychedelic Illusion Demystified

By Shiri Godasi
 

You know that feeling when soul layers keep getting peeled back and you think - 
This is the deepest I have ever gone!
I’ve figured it out!
I KNOW the truth!
And (the best yet) I have a plan! (lol)

Right then - SOMETHING happens to shatter that realization, as if saying - don’t even THINK of resting on your laurels! Heck, don’t think of resting, period. We’re all passengers here, after all... In constant transition, being nudged towards spiritual liberation.  

 

Why am I sharing this? Before spilling my visions for 2022, the table must be cleared. 
You know I’m a fiend for candid self-disclosure; here’s for You:

In recent months I’ve been guided by a psychic image of a massive balloon popping. As a Jungian, I pay attention to images as they tell a story from within our psyche, that our mind cannot yet articulate.

 

As odd of an image as it may be, it was almost too obvious: the balloon was a symbol for a grand illusion demystified, revealing a humble truth. Specifically, a mirage self-conjured through over-identification with a missionary archetype that has come to bring psychedelic integration to the masses. In other words: making sacred work in the field of psychedelics the totality of my existence - however purposeful and rewarding, transformational and even miraculous - has also been tantalizing, misaligned, challenging AF, and in some ways, has nearly ruined this human’s life.

The illusion veil was thick and hardened, so deeply ingrained and lacking the light and airy qualities of a balloon - more a dense crystal prism shattered into countless microparticles of sharp glass, shooting to pierce skin and draw blood, a mere reminder to this spirit’s mortality. The psychedelic rainbow has split into fragments.

 

Relax, nothing is under control.

In all of my years of integration activism, with their myriad of growth challenges, 2021 was different in that it has shattered just about every aspect of my human existence. Literally EVERYTHING has been ripped from my grip - 

 

My mental health
My physical health
My ‘stuff’
My home
My country
My closet relationships
My sexuality
My finances
My business
My programs
My community
My ‘purpose’

And - psychedelics!

 

How’s that for a human that has built a life and career out of psychedelic integration and soulpreneurship?

 

No kidding.

 

Once we moved to Costa Rica and gained some vital breathing space, I’ve been hearing the ocean waves calling their children back home. And they’re singing... You’ve been living a dream - someone else’s dream. It’s time to wake the fuck up and face the bitter truth.

 

What are challenges if not a call to re-examine and get into right relationship with all that is misaligned with our soul’s calling? To learn and grow further into the iteration that is closest to God’s vision for us.

 

Before drawing your visions for 2022 - what’s the balloon You need to pop?

 

For me, I had to accept - what I think is right for me, no matter how pretty, prestigious, and picture-perfect - is not so. I was holding on to an ideal that is not mine to hold - an ideal made of a mile-long list, now being dealt with one by one. As usual, the projections are rooted in early-childhood trauma and intergenerational patterns combined with environmental stressors. Such is the matrix of human psychology. Psychedelics are touted for being some of the best tools for psychological and spiritual wellness; in my case, it was true to a degree, as they have also brought some unexpected harm. If you’d like to know how, the detailed coming-out story is due to be featured on the platform Healing from Healing early next year. 

 

Now what?

As 2021 draws to a close, I can’t say all of these challenged aspects have all been fully remastered or come full circle - far from it. 
They are either in a deep-study examination stage - those poisoned roots that trace back generations ain’t pretty!
Or
In a grieving & forgiveness stage
Or
Inviting to be in nothing and take care to not fall back into old patterns for comfort’s sake
Or
Providing relief, greater clarity and a PLAN (ha!). 

Whatever the stage, the common thread is acceptance, and yes, gratitude - I am grateful for the opportunity to learn surrender, softness and trust. I acknowledge this year has been beastly hard - surely, many of you can relate. Yet somehow we are still here and have so many gifts. Honestly - I am simply grateful to be alive. Everything else is a bonus.

 

So here we are, with a clear table, Starting Over - the theme from one of my last ketamine journeys (remember the “name your trip” integration technique? Try it and see what a powerful tool it is to make it your reality). 

 

And I’m finding pure excitement in tabula rasa as it can only mean one thing - 

 

there is so much opportunity to re-create. 

Author’s Bio
Shiri Godasi (She/Her) is a teacher, visionary creatrix, depth poet and mother. She is best known for her pioneering methods in the field of psychedelic integration and community bridging, including founding 5 psychedelic harm reduction organizations. She is passionate about creating a decolonized, psychedelic-positive counterculture and empowering others to step into radical authenticity/radical action to co-create a just world. Her professional certification program The Psyched Soul PlaySkool of Integration & Soulpreneurship trains people to become creative system disruptors through expert psychedelic support and heart-centered leadership. Her approach draws from transpersonal psychology, New-Earth sacred commerce, Eastern philosophy and multidisciplinary arts, fusing ancient wisdom with modern practices for a ‘Psyched’ lifestyle.